


These moments are fleeting

by Lautari



Series: Threading Stars [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Gen, Loss, Marriage, Parenthood, Resolved Sexual Tension, Working shit out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 17:57:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17606162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lautari/pseuds/Lautari
Summary: “If you think it didn’t kill me to put Ben in Han’s arms and walk away, then there really has been a disconnect between us,” he continued. “I watched the Falcon until it disappeared.”Mara rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, hearing his silent, “sending my child off to potentially be raised by someone else. Something I swore I would never do.”





	These moments are fleeting

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short little scribble.   
> Set during NJO Enemy Lines I: Rebel Dream

_Borleias_

**OOOOO**

Luke checked their quarters first before heading to the Shadow. He knew she was in one of the two places and he hadn’t reached out to search for her, giving her time and space in her own head. His own anguish in parting from Ben had been intense, he couldn’t have borne Mara’s as well. He’d taken his own solitude, sitting cross legged on the landing pad long after the Falcon had disappeared, finding his center. It was almost dusk when he opened his eyes again and he searched the stars for the sanctuary he’d sent his son to. It was beyond his sight, but it wouldn’t stop him from looking up at the night sky several times in future days, sending Ben a gentle caress.

He didn’t know how Han and Leia had done it. _For years._ He thought of all his comrades over the years, with families, leaving them behind...sometimes, the goodbyes being last ones. It hadn’t registered with him then, the sacrifices. Now…he didn’t know how to even begin thinking of the tasks at hand when he could still smell the soap on Ben’s soft little scalp and feel his warmth on his chest, making contented little gurgles and sighs. He didn’t know how _Wedge_ had pulled it together, waiting for any news on his family. Positions reversed, he couldn’t say that he wouldn’t have been in an X-wing tearing a wild streak toward Coruscant.

He found Mara in the cockpit.

“It’s strange,” she said.

He knelt beside her. “What is?”

“The quiet.” Her fingertips ran lightly back and forth across her bottom lip as she mused and her left foot was propped up on the console. “At one time I relished in the quiet, alone in my cockpit. Everything I wanted for myself was in the confines of my ship.” Her voice dropped to a whisper and she held up a pill between her thumb and index finger. “You continually kriff up my world, Skywalker.”

She reminded him of that regularly, usually with fondness, but today there was resentment. He nodded at the pill. “What is that?”

“It helps dry up my milk.”

Luke closed his eyes and reached for her free hand. “Mara…”

Her shields came down on him like the gate in the rancor pit at Jabba’s palace. “Don’t.”

It physically knocked him backwards and he drew his hand back as though he’d been scalded. He didn’t try prodding, never willing to force himself in, but he’d never had to. Her defenses were sealed tight. He hadn’t been this closed off from her since before they were married. Even at the lowest point of their friendship, when they were barely speaking, he’d always been able to reach for her.

Now, he felt incredibly alone.

Without a word, he dropped his hand, stood, and walked away from her.

**OOOOO**

He crept back to their quarters, late.

Mara lay still, eyes closed, facing his side of the bed. Luke was angry, but she’d never been the first one to break. No matter the fight, right or wrong, he’d always come to her, softly, gently, soothing, stroking away any residual anger between them until she melted against him. Now, he sat on the edge of the bed with his back to her, pulling his tunic over his head. He moved as if it pained him, the weight of the galaxy on his shoulders.

He knew she was awake. “You’ve never pulled away from me like that. Even during your illness, when you insisted on keeping me on the outside, you never shut me out.”

Mara opened her eyes and watched the tense muscles in her husband’s back ripple under ruined skin, resisting the urge to reach out and touch the raised, silvery lines that wrapped around him like a cord.

“If you think it didn’t kill me to put Ben in Han’s arms and walk away, then there really has been a disconnect between us,” he continued. “I watched the Falcon until it disappeared.”

Mara rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, hearing his silent, _“sending my child off to potentially be raised by someone else. Something I swore I would never do.”_ She quietly sat up and leaned against him, tongue tracing the wicked scar skirting around his shoulder blade. She heard his sharp intake of breath, but he didn’t move, not willing to be the one to bend this time. Still, he had come to her, never able to stay away. His voice was rough when he spoke again. “If we’re going to have these issues, then maybe you do need to go the Maw and be with Ben.”

Hot tears burned her eyes, but she said nothing.

He sighed. “I’ll sleep on the ship tonight.”

She grabbed his arm before he could move, slipping out of bed knowing he wouldn’t turn to face her, and stood before him, naked. She needed to be the one to reach out this time. “Come to bed with me.” She lightly combed her fingers through his hair – _getting too long again, farmboy_ – and waited for him to come to her.

Luke leaned forward against her stomach, and after a few moments, she felt fingertips graze the back of her thigh. His right hand, numbed, never quite sure of the correct pressure, squeezed her left buttock and pulled her closer. His lips kissed her above her navel and traced their way up her body, eyes closed. He knew her body too well. His mouth closed over a nipple and she sucked in a breath, wincing at the exquisite pain, but let her head fall back. “Easy. They’re a little sore. It’ll take a couple days for my supply to dry up.”

He smirked up at her, but eased away, letting his fingertips graze the sensitive peak as he nibbled along the curve of her swollen breast. Remaining lovers while embarking on parenthood together had resulted in a few mishaps that had left them both in fits of laughter. But mixed in with the amusement, Mara saw pain in his eyes as well, her pain reflected. He had ached for a child, with her. He’d wanted a different life for his child, and wanted her to be able to nurse him and be with him. If she had chosen to go with Ben, he wouldn’t have stopped her. She knew though, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Luke would die on Coruscant without her. And that made her blood run cold. Because while she could give Luke all the logical reasons on why she needed to have his back, the simplest was because she couldn’t be Ben’s mother without him.

“Yes you could,” Luke whispered, his faith in her unwavering. He slipped a hand between her legs, his fingers clutching the apex of her thighs, asking permission. They’d only found a few fleeting moments and maybe a night or two for each other since the fall of Coruscant. Mara stiffened and then sighed contentedly as a single finger slipped inside her. The sound made him slide another finger inside her more aggressively and pull her closer with his other hand. She opened herself to him, physically and through the Force. “Come to bed with me,” he whispered hoarsely, against her breasts.


End file.
